If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
