Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
