after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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