hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
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