It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize