yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
