I just made out with a guy for $7.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
