Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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