Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just pee around me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
