I want to make a zoo with you.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
