End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
