i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
