we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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