U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
