You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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