I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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