i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
