Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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