If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
