hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
