this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
