Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
