I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize