Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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