You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
