Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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