I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
