Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
No subtext here. People are naked.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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