if you like me you must not know who I am
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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