Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
