You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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