And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize