Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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