he wants to bone in the snuggie
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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