Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
