I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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