fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
