I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
