fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
