If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize