'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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