I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
