I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just saw a hot homeless man
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
