six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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