She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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