The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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