cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
