That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize