how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
