Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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