Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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