i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize