I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
