Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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