i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Sorry about my life...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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