But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
