I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
