Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
please don't ironically join a cult
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