my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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