That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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