Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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