make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
