Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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