There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
