I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize