1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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