I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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