But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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