we're blogging at a bar
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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