tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize